the power of our thoughts

When I was younger, I would ask my mom if it was ok to swear at an inanimate object – like a chair if it fell, or any other thing. Her answer was no. She said if I got used to swearing at a chair, who was to say in my time of anger that I wouldn’t swear at others too?

So then I would say ok, well is it alright if I swear in my mind without ever saying it aloud? Her answer was still no. Persisting, I asked – why not? I figured that I wouldn’t harm anyone with it if was in my mind, so what was the problem? She said that once you get used to swearing in your mind, you can easily start to swear out loud. Ahhh, ok, I get it now : D

 

So I started thinking – if this applies to swearing, this applies to everything else too. Whatever we keep and hoard in our minds is what determines our actions and the way we perform them. These thoughts start fermenting, determining how we think of others and how we ultimately view the world. This power of thinking, subhanAllah, can lead you to rise or it can lead to your demise.

 

An evil thought starts off very small and perhaps even unnoticeable, until everyone around you cannot deny the evil nature that you are emitting, and you yourself have been drowned in that stench far too long to know of anything else.

A good thought on the other hand is like a seed that is planted, however small. Every other good thought that you have acts as if it were water and sun to a much needed seedling. As these thoughts of goodness (once again, however small) accumulate, everyone around you would gather together and collectively notice this wonderful smell that flows from you, and you yourself come to know only of this goodness and this favorable smell as well.

Ibn alQayyim speaks timeless words of wisdom in his al-Fawāid when he says:

“Ward off passing thoughts, for if you do not, they will become ideas.
Ward off ideas, for if you do not, they will become desires.
Fight the desires, for if you do not, they will become resolve and determination.
And if you do not ward them off, they will become actions.
If you do not resist them with its opposite, they will become habits.
And it will be difficult for you to get rid of them.”

SubhanAllah, I learned when I was younger that even if I was upset at something, or at someone, to never think badly of them in my mind. Yeah, alright, perhaps there would be an occasional fight with my mother or father – but would I ever say in my mind “I hate them?” No (alhamdulillah) – and if I even started to think it, I would reprimand myself and say -

How could you say this about them? This is how you appreciate everything they’ve done for you? What a terrible daughter you are then! They sacrifice all of these things for you, and Allah tells you to be content with them and obey them, and all of a sudden, they disagree with you on something and you start thinking like this? How could you? What kind of person are you then?

No, you do love them, and this disagreement they’ve had with you is a sign that they love you to, even if it might not seem that way. Even if you think you’re right, you can’t talk to them in any way you please. Go and apologize to them, before they’re upset with you for even another minute. And what if Allah doesn’t forgive you for it? Go!

And then I would go to them, my head down and my eyes teary and I would apologize to them. SubhanAllah, what a blessing I was able to think that way when I was 11. Indeed my parents were so pivotal to my upbringing and I thank them and Allah subhanaHu wata’ala for it.

This is a blessing that I cannot pay for, but I can pray for – and that makes all the difference; which of us is grateful and which of us is ungrateful? By Allah there is not a sajda that I make except that I include a du’a for my parents in it. May Allah preserve them and have mercy on them, for He has indeed been merciful to me through them.